Wow, I'm not sure where to even start post MTH, both with a blog post as with life. I gleaned so much information last week and to be quite honest making it work in real life is HARD and exhausting. For someone who has struggled to delay gratification and really trust that I am exactly where I am at and that God's plan is far bigger and better than anything I can imagine, this has been hard. I want it all and I want it right now. That was a lot of the theme of last week for me, or at least the realization that I can to and I feel like I have spent this week trying to process and beautifully package what it is I'm going to do. Still haven't tied that pretty bow yet!
Making This Happen was wonderful, inspiring and I left feeling extremely convicted about authenticity. However, that's been the hardest this week, remaining authentic and dodging the every present distraction of comparison. Why do we do that anyway? Seriously, it's so unhealthy! I wrote about this a while back when I promised to write more honestly and I'm working on it. And as long as we're being honest, I think this whole blog might need a little overhauling, because it's one big culmination of other peoples' ideas. So, I'm adding that to my "Tending List" and little by little I'm going to make this mine. Onwards, back to the good stuff and post MTH processing.
Change is happening, even if that means simply placing one foot in front of the other without knowing all the answers.
When I left last Tuesday I had huge expectations. I was ready to figure out my life! I assumed that if I did all the pre-work and went social media free on the weekends, and really prayed and thought hard about it, the answers would just fall into my lap. I left day one of MTH feeling pretty overwhelmed and if I'm being completely honest, a little bit frustrated. I was discouraged because I couldn't see a clear picture of what I wanted my life to look like in 5 or 10 years, or even what it would look like when I got home. But, the more I have processed in the last few days since leaving Chapel Hill, the more I'm beginning to figure out my road block. You see, I wanted someone to just give me all the answers and point me in the correct direction without actually doing any of the work myself. How meaningless would that be? What I clearly see now is that the fruits of this process and the labor will far outweigh a rushed and hurried, quick fix and the instant gratification that I so crave! So, although I'm not sure exactly what will take shape, I do know that I have been incredibly inspired and I so want to share what I have learned, first by taking action steps in my own life.
I have spent countless hours and dollars becoming the most ethical, knowledgeable and educated counselor that I know. I stacked up degrees and trainings and even a few plaques on my wall and I also formed quite an opinion about "life coaches". Yep, I'll own it, I grouped them all into the same category, untrained, want-to-be counselors, hokey, warm fuzzy, free dispensers of advice. Don't you just love it when God sticks it to you?!? I think that just might be where I'm at, although I don't have a clear exit or transition plan, I know that I am working with the wrong clients. My ideal clients are women just like me, new moms, who need help working out their transitions and shifting their perspective to what is really important and how do they make that work in their REAL lives, and the more I think about it, maybe they need a little styling help too (one of just the few thousand ideas floating around...note to self, stop repressing the creative process!)
So, as I continue to process, I'm going to rely on what I know is true: God is GOOD and SO FAITHFUL! I know that when I'm 80 I want to be alive, healthy, and joyful, fulfilled and faithful. I want a family that ministers, that is loving and that is bold. I want people to know what I stand for. I want to do what I do because I love it and it's fulfilling, not because I have to pay the bills or so that I can accumulate more stuff! I need to get my head and my heart in the right place so that I'm productive, honest, brave and bold. I want to share life with people and encourage people to do what they love and live fulfilling, authentic and healthy lives. I am creative and I love people and that is why I do what I do. So I'm going to put one foot in front of the other...a life and a year filled with balance, joy and ultimately one of freedom. Freedom to spend more time with the people that I love and a year that allows me to work alongside of people in positive interactions. A year filled with encouraging and happy relationships that are energizing instead of draining. I want to be a faucet not a drain, and I can't fill people up if I'm empty.
So this is what I'm going to do: spend more time with the people I love, go outside, pray, do more yoga. I'm going to work hard at the things I love and sift through those that are time sucks and that I don't enjoy. Do is the key word for me. Stop wishing and do. MAKE WHAT MATTERS HAPPEN! Similar to any other big/life changing decision I've ever made in my life, if I wait around for the perfect timing, perfect people, place, finances, if, if, if, if...those are all excuses and it will never happen. So cheers to 2013, I am BRAVE and I'm going to DO!
Finally... so at the Stoks' house this week, we did a little bed jumping! Because that's what matters!!! Jumping on the bed and this crazy crew!
Happy Weekend!
xo-A
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